Only Reminds Me of Him
by Naoko Askikaga-Uchiha
Summary: A oneshot songfic using the song, Only Reminds Me of You by MYMP. After L's death, Light's past with L has him being reminded of all the things that were worth more than he thought. Was it a mistake having Rem kill L? Yaoi, LxLight. T for safety.


**Only Reminds Me of Him**

**A/N:** My first (official) yaoi fan fiction! YAY! I've always liked LightxL anyway. Hope you enjoy! The song I use in this story is called Only Reminds Me of You, by MYMP. It's Filipino…woo!

_I see you, beside me  
It's only a dream  
A vision of what used to be_

Light gently awoke from a pleasant sleep, and found that the lovely L, the genius detective who loved him dearly, was there, sleeping soundly, his thumb slightly in his mouth. Light smiled, and when he took out his hand to stroke his baby soft skin, L's appearance began to fade away into the darkness. It turns out that he was dreaming again, imagining that L was by his side again.

"Did I make a mistake?" Light thought. "Did I really have to kill him…? Why did I make Rem do it…? I'm such a fool…"

Kira frowned, and slumped back into the covers.

_The laughter, the sorrow  
Pictures in time  
Fading to memory_

As Light began to doze off, the pictures L and he took from various locations were coming into his mind. When they weren't working on the Kira case, they would always visit different tea and sweet shops, just to fulfill L's satisfaction. At the time, Kira's killings weren't important at all. They would talk of different topics, such as their future. The two had forgotten about it at the time, and when they returned from their journeys, the rest of the detectives don't wonder why they're together. Such great minds think alike, but the same principle applies with their hearts.

How could I ever let you go  
Is it too late to let you know

_  
_Light tossed and turned back and forth in his bed. Misa, who was now sleeping in another room, peeked inside, and saw if Light was doing okay. Ryuk stared at Light peculiarly, and told Misa not to bother Light. 

"R-Ryuzaki…" Light mumbled in his sleep. Misa frowned, and slowly walked away from his room.

"Heh…Light's beginning to regret L's death…" Ryuk thought. "Human hearts are so…interesting!"

_  
I try to run from your side  
But each place I hide  
It only reminds me of you  
When I turn out all the lights  
Even the night  
It only reminds me of you_

Of course, L and Light had rocky times. When they would disagree on an idea leading to Kira, and especially if it gets out of hand, Light can't take it and storms away from the detectives. He attempts to hide from his problems, though it never works. Each time he finds a spot to sulk, he would always see something sweet, like a piece of partially eaten strawberry shortcake laying by a bench in a park where he would wander around. The first thing that always comes to mind when he says cake is his beloved L.

He'd also walk about town, aimlessly window shopping, and he would always gaze at bright white sweaters on sale, or on display. Light couldn't get L out of his mind, and couldn't deny that this love for him was stronger than wanting a new world.

I needed my freedom  
This what I've thought  
But I was a fool to believe 

Arguments began to elevate between the two lovers, and Light begins to leave L more frequently. He need space, more time on his own rather than being with L. It was then decided that he finally needed to be away from L, for good. It would never, he thought, work out between the two. It was then that Rem wrote L's name into the notebook, along with Watari.

**((PLEASE NOTE:** Yes, I know that that's not how it happened in the anime and manga, I modified the storyline a little bit. Don't try and flame me and say that what I wrote didn't happen in the anime/manga. I did it on purpose. Oh, sorry. Back to the story!

_  
My heart lied while you cried  
Rivers of tears  
But I was too blind to see  
Everything we've been through before  
Now it means so much more_

L's heart stopped beating, and he dropped the spoon that he was using to mix in his very sweet tea. He fell over, and Light came just in time to catch him from falling. L began crying; the tears were pouring during his last few seconds of life. Light glared at L evilly, and knew that he was right about Light being Kira.

"Light…after all that we've been through…you kill me anyway…" L thought deeply. "You'll regret what you did…you will…someday…"

Light's "Kira" image was covering up his true feelings about L, and didn't realize that L's death meant something more…

---

Years later, it seems that Light knows now the pain of being alone, once again. All the things that him and L have been through…is now just a memory.

"It means so much more now…" Light whispered to himself.

Ryuk softly chuckled. "So he finally figures out that killing L was a mistake…"

Only you 

_  
_Morning came, and Light finally woke up from a deep sleep. He decided to take an early morning exercise…by visiting L's secret grave. He quickly got dressed, hoping that Misa won't see him mysteriously leave early in the morning.

L's grave was actually in open air, but was unmarked, of course. He was buried under an old, tall oak tree. The branches that spread out far and wide shaded Ryuzaki's burial site, and that site looked like an ordinary tree that was surrounded by some tombstones at a local cemetery. Nobody was around, and Light arrived at the normal-looking site.

_  
So come back to me  
I'm down on my knees  
Boy can't you see_

_  
_Light fell to his knees, and began sobbing loudly. His head fell to the cold, green grass, and pounded his fists into the ground. He screamed, "WHY CAN'T YOU COME BACK?!"

Ryuk, apparently being unnoticed by a depressed Light, stood behind the scene, and didn't say a word. The two both know that L can never come back, and that Light made a big mistake. So big, it affected his role in the Kira case, even had criminals cease from dying of heart attacks. The detectives discontinued the case, and will forever be unknown, the man known as Kira.

Light continued crying at that grave, and finally stopped it. He wiped his tears, and took one last look at the grave.

"Ryuk…" Light suddenly said. The shinigami looked up. "Let's go."

_  
How could I ever let you go  
Is it too late to let you know_

As Light walked away from the cemetery, heading back to headquarters, he again passed by all the things that reminded him of dear L. The tea and pastry shops, the thin white sweaters on sale and on display, and tennis goods from that time they played a few matches.

"It's too late…" Light sadly thought. "…to let him know that I can never let go of him."

**END.**

**A/N:** Such sadness…right? Also note that I do NOT have Near or Mello show up to help with the case. Again, I do this purposely. I do hope that you enjoyed this fan fiction. Please review! Constructive criticism is very much acceptable, especially that this isn't really like hardcore yaoi I've seen…with a lot of nasty dirty scenes and whatnot…so your input is my pleasure!


End file.
